When it's appropriate to set fire to other people's houses

·  Dear Bloggess: Guy A: Tall, sweet, sexy, we now have history, and from what I can see, he's emotionally unavailable. Guy B: Tall, sweet, sexy, romantic, emotionally available, but not sure as it's too new to know where it's going. Obviously, the reason I don't ditch Guy A for being emotionally unavailable is because I still really like him and our history ties us together. So ... from experience, we girls know that hanging on to our Guy A types only leads to heartbreak. So how do we let go? Besides making him disappear by cutting his brake lines or something equally accidental? ~ Rosa

Rosa, You are sabotaging yourself by making yourself unavailable for love by investing your time in the emotionally unavailable Guy A, who is emotionally unavailable because he’s married.  I know...you’ve been to his house and he lives alone.  That was his friends house.  That’s why all the pictures were of some other guy and his dog.  Set his friends house on fire to spiritually break the ties forever.

· How to I get rid of people that are overly religious and want me to go to church with them? I am a druid or something. ~ troutay 

Tell them you’ll go to church with them if they go to church with you.  And that your church is in the parking lot of their church.  And that you both have to be naked for God to hear your prayers and if they balk be all “Fine.    I guess you don’t love God then.”  And then when they’re all “Of course I do, I just show it in a different way!” say “Fine.  I will be tolerant and got to your worship service even though you won’t go to mine.  I will be naked though.”  Then suddenly they probably won’t care as much.

·  What to do if I want sex 20 times per month, but my husband is perfectly happy with 4-12 times per month, and will never want sex 20 times per month ever? ~ Manamana

Trick question.  Married people don’t have sex 20 times a month.  It’s in our manual.