Herpes makes you very angry

· Dear Bloggess, I  just don't know about you anymore. You whined and kicked like a three-year-old to get people to come and leave you questions and I did, I took those minutes out of my diminishing supply of life just to do you a solid, and what do I get for it? Bupkiss, that's what. Oh, I forgot, you're from TEXAS, ya'all, where they haven't figured out English OR Spanish yet, so what are the odd of you knowing bupkiss? Jack shit is what I got, to put it in words you'll understand if you ever rouse from your stupor. Well, no thanks to you, I solved my own conundrum (ask an adult, though of course you don't know any, what that means) without bizarre references to stapling midget clown tits to fish or whatever else comes to you when you're stoned on meth. Don't even DREAM of answering my question now. ~ Exasperatron

Dear Exasperatron ~ I apologize.  The answer to your question is “yes”.  That is herpes.  Also, I don’t know why you’re asking me when the doctor has already diagnosed it.  I’m not a medical professional, dude.  Also, stapling tits to clown fish will not help your herpes.  It will kill the fish and is a waste of tits.  Also, I prefer to call them "bosoms" because it’s funnier and less offensive.  Also, you mispelled “y’all” and I don’t know what “bupkiss” is but my spellcheck says it’s a word you just made up.  Probably some sort of hallucinatory side-effect from your untreated herpes.  Please get medical attention, which I think consists of walking on the beach since herpes sufferers are always doing that in their commercials.  I’m sorry, I don’t know much about herpes.  Ask me how to get rid of Chlamydia.  That one I totally know.

· Would it be ethical for me to train babies to battle like gladiators for the merriment of the public? ~ scamps

No.  But it would be awesome.

·  I am a semester and a half away from finishing my geology degree. How much to you charge for scientific papers? Honestly, I don't care if plate tectonics is caused by cyclops or the Tibetans living inside the hollow planet, I just don't have the energy to do it myself anymore. ~ Chocobo

A lot of people are going to tell you that the easiest way to get an A in all these geology classes is to sleep with your professors but those people are wrong because that would make you a slut.  Instead, sleep with the Dean.  That way you only have to sleep with one guy (or girl) for your degree and you’ll have way more spare time that you can now use for studying Geology because technically you’re going to need to know some of it even if you are sleeping with the Dean.  I mean, don’t geologists tell us when earthquakes and tsunamis are coming?   I’m pretty sure you can’t just guess on that shit. Aso, I apologize but I think I need to go back the baby gladiator question because are these babies orphans?  If so I think maybe it’s kind of ethical because remember how the orphans in “Annie” all bonded together over the cruelly opressive Mrs. Hannigan and then in the end they all got adopted by that bald billionaire?  That was awesome.   So I think I just changed my mind. I’m totally in on the baby gladiator thing.