Drugs are good. Except for meth. Avoid meth.

·    Dear Bloggess:  I am a high school student in Chemistry. Right now, we are doing a project on a specific element, mine being tin. I asked my teacher if I could quote you in the paper if I could find anything about tin, be it serious or not, on any of your websites. I haven't yet and I wanted to post a comment on Ask The Bloggess, but this school computer wouldn't let me. If you could say anything about tin on any of your blogs, that would be absolutely amazing. You would be cited in a research paper, which would be awesome.  Thanks, Savannah 

 Savannah, I am shocked that your school computers will not let you access “Ask the Bloggess” as this site is filled with valuable educational tidbits.  I am very glad that you asked me about tin because I happen to know a lot about it.  Tin was discovered in 1973 when an old farmer was attempting to create a polymer that goats won’t eat.  He failed, miserably, but succeeded in accidentally inventing tin.  The farmer, known only as Trout Von Liptenschtien, was going to throw out the newly created element when a tribe of gypsies came across his discovery and bought it for a bawdy dance and a song that was mostly humming.  In short, he was totally ripped off.  This is why most people don’t trust gypsies to this very day.  Tin is the most badass of all the elements and is mainly used to protect against vampires, who are slightly allergic to it.  The Catholic church holds that vampires will burst into flames when touched by blessed tin but scientific study has shown that the element only causes vampires a vague sense of unease and occasionally a mild skin irritation.

Please send me a copy of your research paper if you use me for a resource.  That would be awesome.

·    Dear Bloggess,, My friend showed me the post where you talked about depression and the anxiety attacks and all that sort of stuff because it made her think of me. And honestly... I can see why. I think I might actually need medication and I don't want my mom to know. I'm 18, but I have six dollars to my name and can't get a job currently (long, long story) so without her I can't get any form of help. I love my mom, but if I tell her that she's going to think I'm crazy or trying to get attention or some stupid crap like that because that's how she rolls. I just don't know what to do. -K. P.S. I just realized that I didn't actually ask a question in my post. Fail. ~ katieisaninja

Katie, if you think you need drugs then you probably do.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  Lots of people need drugs, including myself.  I don’t know your mom but speaking as a parent, most parents would rather be able to help their children than to see them suffer.  If you’re in school you can get advice on how to approach your mom from a counselor and if you’re not in school then these places can help.

You’re not alone, Katie, and things will get better.  Also, there’s not a joke here.  I apologize for that.  Sometimes there’s just not.  This is one of those times.  Go get some drugs.  Not meth though.  Avoid meth.